The weight of the current situation on the world is evident and I think we are all close to the tipping point of going a little crazy. I have been seeing patience worn thin. Businesses have to re-evaluate how they operate and lay-offs have been happening. (3.3 million people applied for unemployment!) Others still are simply being insensitive to the severity of the situation, like intentionally coughing on produce. Personally, I have been fluctuating between feeling overwhelmed with information, frustrated as a whole, feeling like I’m in a fever dream and this is not even real, and finding immense joy in mandated introverted time. But I keep coming back to the idea that I don’t think humanity can afford to turn on itself right now. And my attitude and responses are part of that.
I have appreciated the videos and posts by pastors and fellow believers encouraging all of us to keep our heads up, trust God, and take one day at a time. I enjoy seeing church communities go online and how many people are interacting. It is refreshing to see communities coming together to help the most vulnerable. There is good happening. But if I am feeling quite honest, I am feeling exhausted. Within me there is a tearing of emotions, pulling one side to fully disassociate and withdraw and the other to be adamant that everyone understands the severity of the situation. Somewhere in the middle I am reaching out to those I love, I have a good sense of humor, and making good use of the time I have. I am encouraged by some things I read and plunged into anxiety with others. I believe that God is in control and I trust that this too shall pass. I believe “that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” (Romans 8:18) However, I also have a sense that although we will come out of this on the other side, many of us will have suffered loss and we will not be the same.
Since I started at Ecola, I have tried to give something up for Lent. Controversy about this fast aside, it is a conscious effort on my part to turn my eyes toward the cross. In giving something up that consumes a lot of my time or my thoughts, the idea is that I would then focus my eyes where they should be anyway. This year I decided prayerfully to only consume Christian music during these weeks. Which has been great! And hard. But I am not here to talk about my Lent experience. Because of this time and through a wonderful recommendation, I found a powerful song. The Good King by Ghost Ship is an album that has encouraged me and prompted me to worship in moments where I feel like I can't. I love that they take portions of scripture and incorporate that into their music.
There is a meme going around saying “remember Job,” which has made me laugh. It is true, probably none of us have experienced loss and sorrow like Job and whenever we are feeling like having a pity party we can look at Job and count our blessings. Jokes aside though, it is a book full of grief and loss and truth in the midst of that. One of the songs that has stuck with me is taken from that final conversation between Job and God.
- Where Were You, Ghost Ship, Job 38-39
“Then Job answered the Lord and said: ‘Behold, I am of small account; what shall I answer you? I lay my hand on my mouth. I have spoken once, and I will not answer; twice, but I will proceed no further.’” (Job 40:3-5)
I have no idea what is happening in this world and I have no idea how things will turn out. I cannot predict the loss that will happen nor the good that is to come. But I can trust that the God who created this world, who has all power at his fingertips, is still in control of this world. And because of that I can act with caution but not anxiety. I can self-distance but not be disassociated. I can feel my range of emotions and still be compassionate. My heart is heavy but it is not my burden to bear alone.
Stay strong, my friends.
Since I started at Ecola, I have tried to give something up for Lent. Controversy about this fast aside, it is a conscious effort on my part to turn my eyes toward the cross. In giving something up that consumes a lot of my time or my thoughts, the idea is that I would then focus my eyes where they should be anyway. This year I decided prayerfully to only consume Christian music during these weeks. Which has been great! And hard. But I am not here to talk about my Lent experience. Because of this time and through a wonderful recommendation, I found a powerful song. The Good King by Ghost Ship is an album that has encouraged me and prompted me to worship in moments where I feel like I can't. I love that they take portions of scripture and incorporate that into their music.
There is a meme going around saying “remember Job,” which has made me laugh. It is true, probably none of us have experienced loss and sorrow like Job and whenever we are feeling like having a pity party we can look at Job and count our blessings. Jokes aside though, it is a book full of grief and loss and truth in the midst of that. One of the songs that has stuck with me is taken from that final conversation between Job and God.
I said God I do not understand this world
Everything is dying and broken
Why do I see nothing but suffering
God I'm asking could this be Your plan
Sin has taken hold of this whole land
Will You not say anything else to me?
He said where were you the day that I measured
Sunk the banks and stretched the line over
All the earth and carved out its cornerstone?
Where were you the day that I spoke and
Told the sun to split the night open
Caused the morning dark with its light to show
Who shut in the ocean with stone doors
Marked the reach of tides on those new shores
Hung the day the waves rose and first broke forth
Have you seen the springs of that great sea
Walked the caverns carved in the black deep
Through the gates of darkness there on its floor
Have you seen the armoury I hold
Snow and hail are stacked up in silos
For the times of trouble and war and strife
Can you raise your voice to the storm cloud
Would the thunder answer and ring out
Does the lightning ask you where it should strike
Who has cleft the channels for torrents
Rain to sprout the desert with forest
In the wilderness that my hand has built
Can you hunt the prey for your lions
Can you use the Orion
Is this whole world bending beneath your will?
I spoke of things I did not understand
Things too wonderful for me
Although I had no right to ask
My God knelt and answered me
“Then Job answered the Lord and said: ‘Behold, I am of small account; what shall I answer you? I lay my hand on my mouth. I have spoken once, and I will not answer; twice, but I will proceed no further.’” (Job 40:3-5)
I have no idea what is happening in this world and I have no idea how things will turn out. I cannot predict the loss that will happen nor the good that is to come. But I can trust that the God who created this world, who has all power at his fingertips, is still in control of this world. And because of that I can act with caution but not anxiety. I can self-distance but not be disassociated. I can feel my range of emotions and still be compassionate. My heart is heavy but it is not my burden to bear alone.
Stay strong, my friends.
John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives to I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
Psalm 16:8 “I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.
John 16:33 “In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33 “In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
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